Все сообщения участника Эдмон с благодарностями

One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the professor asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furiously, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10 minutes later, and went to hand the test to his instructor. The instructor told him he would not take the test.The student asked, "Do you know who I am?"The professor said, "No and I don't care."The student asked again, "Are you sure you don't know who I am?"The professor again said no. So the student walked over to the pile of tests, placed his in the middle, then threw the papers in the air."Good" the student said, and walked out. He passed.

One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned one hour later with a black eye.

Three EFL students are walking down the road to their remedial listening comprehension workshop.

I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!

A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman refuses to serve him saying rudely, "Sorry but we don't serve the likes of you. Get out!"

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host,

A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, "Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don't understand."

The panda says, "Look it up in the dictionary," and walks out the door. So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading "Panda". It reads:

"Panda: black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves."

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.He asks the shopkeeper "Does your dog bite?"The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him."Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"

Q: Why did the man throw a bucket of water out the window?

I live in five-floor house. My neighbor who lives above me is happy,

Julyrose, в данном случае 'S — это сокращение от IS (Present Continious), т.к. эта форма образуется  так:

Сущ. + am/are/is + глагол (— ing) … Кстати, 5 урок ЛИКБЕЗа!

Maid answers phone. 

"Doctor, I am sorry to drag you so far out in the country on such a bad night".

"Oh, it's all right because I have another patient near here so I can kill two birds with one stone".